Talk has gone around Twitter about dating. It all started with a CuriousCat submission to a Twitter user.
What's your perspective about dating? — Dating without purpose is dumb. Date to marry. Anyone, amen? https://t.co/aeISS3WXIw
— Aaron (@AaronAdajar) July 9, 2018
However, there have been rising tweets in opposition to this.
Or…date because it's fun? Date to get to know people? If you date with a "purpose", you're missing out on all of the wonderful people and experiences that you can learn from.
Date people, not an idea. https://t.co/UoqNTe3aPw
— modern-day hippie (@trishaobannon) July 11, 2018
The purpose of dating is to get to know others. It allows us to bond with other people and make significant connections. Interacting with various people gives us a wider perspective of the world, and it shows us the eccentricity of being human as we deal with our emotions. And from then on, from loving other people for who they are, we learn more about ourselves. These experiences provide us avenues in which we can assess ourselves from how we react to the world and other people.
Dating with a strict purpose in mind hinders us from opening our minds to the many possibilities social interaction brings us.
There is a likely tendency that it will give us a narrow perspective of the future. That the person you’re dating should be this and that for your supposed future.
Of course, we cannot ignore the concern that arises from dating. There will always be differences apparent between two partners, from trivial interests to goals in life. However, as the days together grow longer and more frequent, things might start to become ambiguous in the relationship. Suddenly, you question the direction the relationship is taking. You won’t know if they’re as committed as you are. This general concern inherent in dating breeds the underlying issue that the original poster of the tweet has.
Nonetheless, the point still stands that dating entails respect, just as any interaction with others does.
Clarity from both sides of the parties must be present. Respect the boundaries of the person, and the relationship. The whole relationship depends on the boundaries both parties have set. For this reason, communication is of utmost importance. However, there will be instances that two people really are not meant to be together.
We are not entitled to other people in the same way that they are not entitled to us. No matter how many discussions and heart to heart talks you have with your partner, if they are not willing, then they’re not. Getting hurt is part of the process, and is completely valid. The nature of being human and the fragility of emotions are things that we should be able to accept especially in difficult times. From these sorts of interactions and experiences, we are able to learn more about the world and ourselves.
Love the person for who they are, not for what you hope they can be.
Sure, there are merits that come with believing that your partner can become a better person. However, the problem here is the projection of your own ideals onto that person which might lead you to believe that that is the better version of themselves. We mustn’t forget that dating isn’t a deliberate hunt for a spouse. While it is not bad to date to marry, we should always be reminded that the love we feel must be for the person themselves, and for their potential.
Is it worthless to date with no intention to marry? What do you think? Leave a comment, and share this article!