You know how they always tell you in movie reviews that they are spoiler-free? Well, spoiler alert: they aren’t. Trailers are the basic forms of spoilers so consider yourself spoiled once you’ve seen Deadpool 2’s trailer. Reviews are another level of spoilers. They are called “spoilers” for a reason.
If you’re under 16, you shouldn’t even be looking for Deadpool 2 reviews because you’re not allowed in the cinema. So tell your parents to stop smuggling you into the theaters. But if you get past the checkers in the cinema, might as well read on but beware of the spoilers ahead. And by spoilers, I mean ideas that will change the way you look at the movie just because you read an opinion about it.
A Sworn Oath
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 9, 2018
As we all know, Ryan Reynolds has released this very original anti-spoiler spoiler for ‘Deadpool 2’. If you haven’t seen this, get your pink starfish flesh out of the rock you live in and follow @VancityReynolds on Twitter. And as this review goes on, we will try not to reveal that Deadpool will indeed die in the movie. Or will he? Will he not? No one really knows.
Deadpool is not Spider-Man
Here are a few things Deadpool aren’t: PG, high school teen drama, coming of age film, MCU film, an Avengers: Endgame build-up, a spotlight to be shared with Robert Downey Jr., and most specifically a Spider-Man movie.
Don’t expect him to turn into dust. Spoiler alert: he won’t. Or will he?
Get your Celine Dion thinking out of this house especially if you’re under 16. Parents! Stop trying to convince theater employees that your 9-year-old kid is 16.
Pump the hate brakes, internet
Deadpool is as woke as a college student trying to finish his or her (I don’t want to get called out for sexism) thesis. RRL is the real enemy here, guys. Better hit that plagiarism meter down to at least 70, quick.
If you need a little slap in the face for being sexist or racist, I am sure Mr. Pool can give you exactly what you need. But you woke people of the internet. I expect you won’t clap and scream “Preach!” in the middle of the movie or so help me God, I am busting that fire alarm before the climax.
And if you were disgusted with Wade’s avocado face, prepare yourself for more nightmarish things you’ll see in the movie. But we promote body positivity in this platform so I am telling you to just laugh it off and maybe drink a disgusting glass of greens on your way home and flush out all the toxins in your body after witnessing what you never wished you have.
Here’s where the true spoilers come in…
It’s really impossible to review this movie without spoiling the fun for any of you who haven’t watched it yet. But here’s the real review: let’s just say that Deadpool delivers and he delivers with #EffortMaximal. (That sounds like a Harry Potter spell…)
In all honesty, the movie surpassed my expectations. Not that I know what’s there to expect in a Deadpool sequel after the many misleading teasers. But this movie represented many different faces and it opened up the mind of the lady beside me on the cinema as she asks her friend “Is Hugh Jackman in this movie?” Because unlike that web-slinging superhero movie you thought it would be (Celine Dion much?), there are no shared spotlights in this movie.
It was built up to be a movie of one spotlight shone to many different people who complete Wade Wilson. The X-Force and the X-Men (or People) are a part of the equation that creates Wade, plus cancer, fourth-wall breaking, drugs, violence—I can go on and on!
Deadpool 2 is a movie about everything: family, friends, society. It’s a movie of social awakening but it doesn’t beg for recognition. There isn’t a need to identify every scene in which Deadpool calls out a character for being racist, it just passes right by you. But it leaves a sting that you’ll only realize right after the movie because you’re too down on the laughs.
The violence, sexual jokes, and fourth-wall breaks just got better, all in a good way. What better way to explain it than to watch the movie yourself. Let the movie explain to you how it got better and how Fox seemingly earned enough money for cameos and other appearances but doesn’t have money for a good CGI for the X-Jet.
Now, I know what you’re thinking…
“Did I just get spoiled? Or not? Was this a meta-review or was I fooled into thinking it was?” It’s time to watch the movie to find out.